Drained and busy// It's so easy to be caught up with the fast pace of life.
Hi guys,I'm back with an update :) I can't believe it's already May and that i have almost completed a whole semester of uni already! Still remember the first day when i stepped into USYD and looking back, three months just passed like that :O There's about two more weeks til the end of the school semester before exam period commences so it's been really crazy with assignments, presentations and quizzes. So many things to do yet so little time but by the grace of God, i've been managing so far :)
Well as my title explains, can't help but feel really drained and being caught up with all my submissions. A part of me worries so much about school, be it wanting to do well for my assignments or worrying about exam preparations. Sometimes on the outside, i may still be very happy and bubbly which generally i always am but deep down i guess everyone worries and struggles, so the same goes for me as well. Funny how people always ask me how i'm doing and the answer will always be either 'It's okay i guess." or "Pretty crazy but i guess i'm surviving". I guess it's just really hard to express these things to others plus everyone experiences this in their own ways, so i guess now it's just me and whoever who reads this blog that will know how i feel. With that said, i'm not struggling alone because i'm learning to commit this to Lord and i know he is walking this journey with me :')
Now on to the reason why i am writing this post, these few days have just been consistent work and research and at the same time balancing deadlines as well. Not only me but everyone around me is busy with their own lives as well! i must admit that i was feeling a little unmotivated and down yesterday night, just wanting to take a break from everything in general. But it dawned upon me that often, it was so easy to get so caught up with being so busy and going about our daily lives that we forget to stop, give thanks and appreciate the little things in life. "In life, you need to stop and smell the roses" and yeah it's so easy to just complain and grumble about how tiring or how much work there is. So to start off, i want to be thankful for supportive friends, encouraging parents, the food that i am able to indulge in. Or even something as simple as having a good night sleep :) So i hope that if you are having a tough and tiring day that you will remember that there are many things around you to be thankful for and to be happy about :') Even as you go about your day, something as simple as dropping a text to check up on the people you love or even just telling them that you love them will really put a smile on their faces. So remember, there is more to life than work and all these tasks, no doubt that those are important but also keep in mind to show love and care to everyone around you. Happiness is not something that is hard to achieve, even the simplest things in life can make us happy.
Always know that there will be a light at the end of every tunnel and for me it's that there is a month to home :) So press on and know it will all be worth it in the end.
Love,
Shaina
Dedication // Distance may separate our physical beings but our hearts will always be together.
Hey guys,It's me and i know i am supposed to give you all an update on how i'm doing and coping :) I will get around to posting that soon but i just wanted to dedicate this post to some very special people. i hope all of you all are actually reading this now because i want to tell you all how much i love and appreciate you all :') Today was not the best day and the worst part is that i didn't understand why or what made me upset. Yep you're probably thinking, it's probably your hormones talking or you're pmsing. Well that's exactly what it is and it's not exactly the most pleasant thing ever. On one side it was like i felt really upset about everything without any reason but yet the conscious part of me felt terrible for being so mean and so annoying to the people around me. Maybe at this point, i already don't make sense to you huh? Guess what, it doesn't make sense to me either. Honestly, i looked at myself and i really disliked this side of me. Who wouldn't right? Sorry for all the negativity and anyway this isn't the main point why i'm writing this post.
Being here and away home, you would think that it would be really difficult to maintain close friendships and that people would one day drift apart from each other. But once again, what happened has proved this thinking wrong :) Yes all of you reading this, i want to say a huge thank you for tonight. Even at my lowest, when i wasn't the nicest person around, you guys still showed me unconditional love and care :') Words cannot express how touched and overwhelmed i was. For taking time out to give me a call and listen to me rant or being so sweet with your words or even showering me with positive and encouraging words, i cannot even begin to say how blessed i feel. Even as i'm typing this, i'm tearing up because of how loved i feel. As i was reflecting upon this, i began to thank God for each and everyone of you because i know God has placed you guys in my life specially :) Each of you have been such a blessing to me and i'm glad that i can walk my journey alongside all of you. Even as you guys have loved me for who i am , i just wanted to say that all of you are so special individually :') All of your individual personalities and characteristics really makes each of you special in your ways and i want you guys to know that you're valuable and worth so much. Be it in God's eyes and in my eyes as well :) As much as you guys love me, i love all of you so so much and remember that in your lowest times that i equally want to be there to comfort you and shower all of you with care. So no matter the time difference or what time of the day it is, know that i will always be there!
Maybe it's true that people do drift with distance but in this case, i think the distance has just brought our hearts closer to each other :') Missing all of you and your warm hugs.
Love,
Shaina
Reflections
Can't believe it is already February of 2015, wow the years really come and go. Seriously need to update more often, am so bad at keeping up with all this! Currently sitting on my bed, pondering about what lies ahead, my future, my relationships with other, my purpose? Honestly, I have been thinking so much I might have already planned my life til I'm 80. Hmmm, just kidding but the extent is mad. Is this how it feels to be growing up because if it is, I want to stay young forever. Does this make sense, I miss being busy sometimes because then maybe I won't feel like I am bothering my friends too much or that in this fast-paced world that I am keeping ahead with everyone else. Haha I must be crazy, complaining about all the free time I have, maybe I am idk. I am at a stage where I no longer know where to go, yes university is the typical answer but studying is not all that life holds. Please Lord, lead me to where you want me to go, I don't want to live life based on my own decisions. So many questions but yet many I do not hold answers to. I was talking to someone before and we were talking about relationships. Everyone holds that few criteria that they want in their future spouse etc but I realised that while growing up that criteria list lessens or in any sense becomes more practical. No one knows what kind of person you will end up marrying be it someone who is your ideal or someone you totally do not expect. Clearly, only God knows that answer and through everything I am so thankful knowing that God is in control of everything and I don't have to worry but trust him. Time is limited til I go back out there, so I truly want to spend each minute with all of you I love so so much. It may be annoying to you all how many times I want to meet you all but I won't be around to see your faces, to give you all comforting hugs each week and laugh with you all ❤️ So bear with me okay? :') xx,
Shaina
Afraid of what the future will hold.
Hello guys, i hope school has been treating you well so far! As for all of my friends who are J2s these year, jiayou okay :) i know it's a tough year ahead but trust in God and lean not on your own understanding. I believe in you all and keeping you all in prayer yeah :)Anyway, now that it's three weeks away from leaving, i have withdrawn from school and just settling everything that i need. So today was quite an uneventful day but it was the release of o'level results! Very proud of everyone no matter how you did, you all deserve a pat on the back, well done :) Especially to my bro, i am very proud of you :') In my eyes, you have done so well. Do not for a moment doubt yourself okay, you are bright and smart :)
Well sorry guys, it seems like everytime i post it's about something sad. I just find it a place when i can express how i feel and also to be able to update my close friends :) It seems so weird because usually i am in school, being preoccupied and busy and laughing with my friends. I actually really miss you guys because you guys make stressful school life so much more interesting. Not only that, you guys crack me up like no others :') I love you guys <3 But suddenly, it seems like all these are taken away from me, like i no longer can comprehend or even be there to share all these times with you all. A big part of my life is just gone and the feeling of lost just sets in. Just as a whole, it's like slowly but slowly, people are so busy and they start to forget your presence. Soon enough, i'll just be a distant memory.
That scares me, really. Because, all of you mean so much to me and the thought of that makes me afraid to even leave. i guess this is one phase that i will have to go through. Finding my security in the Lord and also to know that this opportunity is given to me so that i will be able to go out and be a blessing to others :) But, i am really thankful for some of the people in my life, who encourages me and make me braver to take this step out. Thank you guys, i can't even express how much i love you all <3 You guys are really God's gift to me (:
Thanks for listening in, sorry if it caused any of your moods to be dampened. So anyway i would be updating this blog more often especially since i am going to be leaving. This way my friends can be more updated and also i want all of them to be included in my new journey there :) God bless, i hope you guys will have a good day today :)
" This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24
I really hope that gives you a new hope for a new day :)
Love,
Shaina
Just a piece of my thoughts
Well, i know i haven't updated in a while but i shall try to do so more often :) I just have many things on my mind right now, sad/confusing/vexing/worrying things. If only life came with a manual, then my life would probably have gone the way i wanted. I have pretty much come to terms with the fact that i am leaving to Melbourne to study next year. I have never really expressed my feelings about this because all these happened behind closed doors. But i guess i just wanna share a bit on how i feel right now. I think i have at least cried over this many many times, i can't even count lol. Embarrassing and everyone is probably like oh gosh WHY. Yes, i know that going overseas is a blessing and i am really blessed to be given that opportunity :') But i am worried, worried about my future, worried how much i will change. Or sad to leave my friends or family and wondering if people would forget me. Mostly, i am afraid because it's a whole new experience and fear sets in. I am not exactly an adventurous kind of girl nor do i like change. But i guess, change is good because who knows, it will do me good :) Moreover, it's times like this when i learn to rely on God and not my own strength because i know that with God's strength, all things are possible :) I don't have to fear because God will be with me every step of the way and i just have to go with that assurance. Also, recently someone around me is going through quite a difficult time, this person is very close to me and it breaks my heart to see here going through so much. But i just wanna say, i love you babe <3 Whatever you are going through, i want to share it with you. Just glad things are better now, very glad to see your happy and cheerful self :) Heh, went to watch frozen with the girls today! It was beyond awesome, and it really brought out the child in me haha. The bestie was acting like such a kid but i don't blame her HAHA :P Loved spending time with time, always great company :')When i leave, i am really gonna miss my family and friends. :( Thanks for always being my pillar of support, i want to spend as much time with you guys as i can. <3 Especially to my parents, for always being so sacrificial and loving. Always in my heart, i have the best parents in the world, ily.
Bullying
Hi guys! Yeah i know i was MIA for such a long time, sorry :/ But i promise i will blog more often :) Yes i know my blog skin is messed up but i gotta play around with it more. It is the new year and i was thinking about what to write that might help you all in this new year. Yesterday night, i stumbled upon the youtube video, teens react to Amanda Todd. I am sure everyone knows who Amanda Todd is. Well if you don't, Amanda Todd is a teenage girl who was bullied and she even posted a video on youtube about how she was bullied. Shortly after, she committed suicide. As i watch the video, my heart went out to her. Bullying was such a common thing in school and i am sure many of you have been bullied before. I am not sure about you but this has been something i have been carrrying with me these 4 years. I was bullied before. I am not going to go into who did it and the details of it but it was a painful experience. It was not an easy time for me and it was horrible. Life just seemed unbearable and i cried myself to sleep at night. To all those bullies out there, think about what you are doing. You might brush it off and say oh it's nothing. Do you know how much pain and hurt the person has to go through? What if that person was you? The healing process is long because it is something that is burried deep down in our hearts. I am not saying killing yourself is right. It is not the answer to your problems. It is just giving the bullies power over you and your emotions. I understand, i at one point of time also felt like giving up. But you have a bright future ahead of you, you don't want to sacrifice all this just because of this people. Today i am sharing this is because out there, there are many people who are suffering because they are being bullied. Please get help, talk to someone you trust or you can leave a comment below and i will try to help :) Suicide is not the answer, trust me on that. Remember that every new day, there is a hope for you :) As i watched the video, i really thank God for everything. Thank God that he gave me a reason to live :) Things actually get better, i promise. You know, someone once told me that There will always be people out there who love you for who you are so don't lose hope! I am very thankful that i had the support of my friends and parents to help me through and i hope that you too have that kind of support and love. Thank you to those who stood by me, i love you guys <3 To all those who once bullied, i pray that God will forgive you. If you can, apologise to the person. It is also my prayer to those getting bullied that you may stay strong and hang on for a better future :') I hope that in this new year that you all may start right and i really hope this might help as you go back to school once again. It is time i let go of the hurt and anger that i hold inside and i want to surrender it to God. Well, once again, thanks for reading my thoughts for today. Love you all xoxo
Love,
Shaina
P.S i am sharing my heartfelt feelings with your, if you know me, well now you know more :)
My Weekend :)
Hey everyone! It's Sunday already, woah the week sure flies past really quickly! Sunday is always lazing around day so nothing much to blog about today! However i shall blog about my day yesterday :)
Well Saturday has always been my favourite day of the week because it's the day i get to hang out with my friends <3 Was feeling very upset just before service because of what my parents said. Anw, i'm gonna rant for a bit so bear with me k? :/ Sigh, parents can never seem to understand us. I mean yes i know you are upset but your words are really hurtful. Sorry i can't be your perfect daughter because no one is perfect but could you for once place yourself in my shoes? I'm upset because of my results but i'm even more upset because in your eyes i'm that "lousy".
Sorry about that, let's talk about happier things now :) Service was really good! Sermon was on the holy spirit and during altar call, could really feel the presence of the holy spirit :) Was feeling upset before service but thanks to my friends concern i felt much better, love you all so much <3 Thanks so much :') During cell, we went prayerwalking around the church, it was really good and meaningful :) Dinner was awesome as usual with my cell, you could always depend on them to make your day ;) HAHA it was pretty funny to share how our parents struggle to use the latest technology! Went home with train buddy Clarissa! Hahaha clarissa is seriously the funniest and retarded person ever :D Made me laugh the whole way home.
Ok lastly to end on a happy note, i shall share with you
CLARISSA'S PICKUP LINES OF THE DAY
"Do you have a plaster?""Why?"
"Cuz i think i scraped my knee falling for you."
"Check your pockets."
"Huh, why?"
"Cuz i think you stole my heart."
"Do you have a license?"
"Nope, Why?"
"Cuz i think you are driving me crazy."
Hahaha ok i hope that brighten up your day :) I was like LOL when i heard it! (Hahaha see clarissa i kept my promise, this is dedicated to you ;) ) Anw tomorrow is monday and i just want to say all the best to those taking chinese o's tmr :) Praying you will all get what your heart desire :) 好吧！大家加油！:)
Ok, signing off,
Shaina<3
Name: Shaina Cheow
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Travel to the US 
