Will I ever get used to it?
Hello you guys, hope the first week of 2016 has been a good one for all of you :) My heart is heavy tonight and I guess it's not something that I really wanna share but yet I know if I kept it in, it's only going to make me feel worse. No one is really going to read this anyway but if you do, I'm sorry it's not going to be a happy one. It's so funny how the smallest things can trigger the things so deep within you. People would think after being away for two years, wouldn't it be easier to adapt back or maybe get used to being away? A few days ago, my brother enlisted into army and suddenly the house seems so quiet. Told my dad about it and I was reminded that shouldn't I be used to the silence by now. It's going to be even quieter when I get back so why is it I am suddenly not used to it again. And I guess internally having to adapt is necessary and essential but I wonder how long would it would take me to not be bothered by the silence. I don't think I will ever get used to it, maybe it's meant to be this way to make sure I return home at the end of my studies.
So silly how even as I type this out, I can still tear up. I wish I was stronger, I wish I didn't have to cry about this again. Now I understand why sometimes people choose not to come home, even as you are home, you leave your heart here. But when you leave, you either leave it behind or take it back with you and I think no matter how long time passes, it still hurts each time. You are probably thinking how silly I am, how emotional I am. That's probably true. If I could change this about myself, I would.
Thanks for listening nonetheless, I pray in the year 2016 I will be a stronger person, really. Goodnight guys.
Shaina
Name: Shaina Cheow
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Travel to the US 
